The Top 10 Ways to Design Your Destiny 1. Decide you can do it. You already are. Every decision you make every day makes YOU! Awaken to this and drive your destiny. 2. Energise your desires. And be energised by them. Your desires allied with your decisions make miracles happen. 3. Follow your intuition. Let your intuition surprise you, and lead you in some unexpected directions as you... 4. Take the lead in your life. You ARE the champion in your circle. Step up and claim your title. Your life influences people, whether you want it to or not. Be the winner that lights their lives. 5. Make action your passion."Just do it."6. Evaluate the invaluable -- Your Values. In knowing your values you know yourself. They are what drive you, what you drive, and how you handle the road of your life. 7. Inform your dedication. Just like your values, you choose 'em. What do you want to make happen in the world? Why do you want it? Give yourself the gift of clear focus - and taste the sweetness of dedication made evident. 8. Balance your beliefs... With your focus, values and goals. Every belief can serve you easily or challenge you to grow - give yourself a great mix and watch the party of your life unfold. 9. Enhance your heart, For designing your destiny is most effective with a big heart in mind. 10. Develop your devotion... To that which really matters to you. Designing your destiny is fun for its own sake for five minutes. What is your life really about? Submitted by Elizabeth Mullen, who can be reached at em@cornerstonecoaching.com, or visited on the web at http://www.cornerstonecoaching.com © 2001 CoachVille. The Top 10 Great Life Skills to Have, to Use and Improve It takes a lot of skills to negotiate through life. Many of them we pick up along the way, others we need to develop, and some we just need to polish a little bit. Here are a few life skills to consider getting, using, or practicing in your life... 1. Listening 2. Giving compliments 3. Accepting compliments 4. Thinking positive 5. Saying"No"6. Laughing 7. Planning 8. Asking questions 9. Reading 10. Exercising Submitted by Jim Allen, who can be reached at Jim@CoachJim.com, or visited on the web at http://www.CoachJim.com © 2001 CoachVille. Top ten beliefs to help you create the work you were born to do. 1. You can find what you love and earn money from it. 2. You can change your attitude and your circumstances. 3. Your inspiration and love can lead to paid work or a great job. 4. You can be authentic and real, and be successful. 5. The purpose of work is to find and give expression to the best of you, and work can be easy and natural. 6. Life supports you when you find your heart, love and passion, and the intelligence inside you will handle many of the details. 7. You can bring more and more of yourself to your work. 8. You have more creativity and resources inside you than you ever imagined. 9. It is safe to be successful, be your best self and shine your light. 10. You are good enough, have lots of gifts, skills and talents and deserve success How to simplify your Life In this very fast paced world, it seems impossible to simplify our lives. But think about this, how much time and energy do you waste on the unnecessary? How much time do you waste because you can't find things? How much energy do you waste telling yourself all the things you should do? How much time do you spend having fun? We often make life much more complicated than it needs to be and somehow we have convinced ourselves that our lives must be filled to max. We over schedule our lives, and then wonder why we feel dissatisfied. In turn, we end up spending the majority of our time on the things that don't matter to us. Here are some strategies to help you weed out the unnecessary and simplify, simplify, simplify. 1. Extend your boundaries. It is okay to say no. If you are not comfortable committing to a task, or something doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it. We often get in trouble because we ignore our gut feelings, and most of the time it leads us down the wrong path. 2. Drop your to-dos. Drop the to-dos that have been on your list for a couple of months. Get rid of those tasks that you keep telling yourself that you will get done but you always find something more interesting/important to do. If you have not done them by now, they are not important and draining your energy. 3. Remove clutter. How much time do you waste looking for things? Do you have stuff that you need to get rid of? The more cluttered your space is, the more stressed you are going to feel. When you remove clutter, get rid of stuff that you no longer need, and give objects a home, your life will run more smoothly. In addition, you will create a space for new things to enter your life. 4. Develop your values. Determine what your values are and live to those values. We often feel conflicted because how we are living is out of sync with our values. For example, if your number one value is family and your job requires you to work 65 hours a week is it any wonder that you feel unsettled and unhappy? When you're clear about what is important to you, it will be easier to let go of things that don't fit. 5. Examine your beliefs. What are your core beliefs? Some of your beliefs may be limiting your ability to let go of tasks and projects that don't add value. If you believe that you create value by being busy, it is much harder to let go of tasks. If you believe that the only way to make money is to work hard, then you will always work hard. Remember, we look for circumstances in our lives to reinforce what we believe. 6. Create priorities. Determine the 1 or 2 things you want to accomplish within the next year for your career/business, home life, relationships, and self. Work only to those priorities. If your goal is to develop a new income generating product line, that is where you should spend significant time focusing your attention. It is very easy to get distracted from our priorities, because there is so much information out there that inspires our interest. How often do you get diverted to other projects and never finish what you were originally working? What happens? The year goes by and you did not accomplish any of your objectives. When new ideas do excite us, get an idea notebook and write all of your new ideas down for future projects. One note, if you find yourself working on everything but your stated priorities, it may be time to reexamine what you think you want. 7. Give yourself permission to relax. We live in a culture that has taught us that relaxing is the equivalent to being lazy so we have created lives that are bursting at the seams and don't give us time to think. There is another way, give yourself permission to relax. Revel in doing nothing. Give yourself time to just think and do nothing. You will be amazed at all the new and interesting discoveries that come to you. 8. If you're struggling, let it go. If something is a real struggle, or you can't come up with a solution, drop it for awhile. Giving yourself a mental break will allow your brain to rest and therefore create new ideas. Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and had an aha? This happens for two reasons, 1) because you are relaxed, and 2) because you were not trying to direct your brain's thoughts. Giving yourself a mental break from a challenge is a great way to consciously create that aha. 9. Take care of yourself. Isn't it funny that we take better care of our cars than our bodies? Take care of your body and mind. Eat things that bring you a sense of energy and lightness. Eat to fuel your body. Exercise your body to reduce stress and clear your mind. Exercise your brain with new activities. This will go a long way in helping you feel more calm and relaxed. 10. Have fun. Why is it so hard for us to have fun? Make time each week to do something that brings you joy. Do something completely silly. Have fun with yourself. Laugh. Forget all the other stuff for awhile and just have fun. You will feel a whole lot better. This piece was originally submitted by Jennifer Ottolino, Personal&Professional Coach, who can be reached at Jen@coachjen.com, or at www.coachjen.com © 2000-2002 by Thomas J. Leonard. (Source: Getting Past Gambling)

October 14"Fundamental progress has to do with the reinterpretation of basic ideas,"wrote Alfred North Whitehead.When we review or ups and downs of our recovery in GA, we can see the truth of that statement.We make progress each time we get rid of an old idea, each time we uncover a character defect, each time we become ready to have that defect removed.We make progress, one day at a time, as we shun that first bet, that first addictive act that could so quickly swerve us from the path of growth onto the path of despair...Do I consider the progress I've made since I came to GA????May I remember that there are a few new ideas in the world, only the old ones reinterpreted and reinstated.May I always be conscious that the big things in life-- like love, brotherhood, God, abstinence from addictive behavior--become more finely defined in each human life.So may the Twelve Steps in recovery be redefined in each of our lives, as we keep in mind that these are the time--tried principles that work.......TODAY I WILL REMEMBERThe Twelve Steps work. (Source: Getting Past Gambling)

Your attitude is not determined by circumstances, but by how you respond to your circumstances.You can respond positively or negatively to any situation.It's how you react to events, not the events themselves, that determines your attitude.Any challenge facing youis not as important as your attitude towards it, for that will determine your success or failure.Things turn out best for the peoplewho make the best of the way things turn out.It's not your position but your disposition that counts. ©2006 by Max SteingartReproduce freely but maintain © notice (Source: Getting Past Gambling)

Your attitude is not determined by circumstances, but by how you respond to your circumstances.You can respond positively or negatively to any situation.It's how you react to events, not the events themselves, that determines your attitude.Any challenge facing youis not as important as your attitude towards it, for that will determine your success or failure.Things turn out best for the peoplewho make the best of the way things turn out.It's not your position but your disposition that counts. ©2006 by Max SteingartReproduce freely but maintain © notice (Source: Getting Past Gambling)

April 1If we don't want to slip, we'll avoid slippery places. For the gambler that means shunning poker parties and race tracks and anywhere that gambling is taking place. For me, certain emotional situations can also be slippery places; so can indulgence in old ideas, such as a well-nourished resentment that is allowed to build to explosive proportions.Do I carry the principles of the Gamblers Anonymous Program with me wherever I go?TODAY I PRAYMay I learn not to test myself too harshly by"asking for it,"by stopping in at the casino, the Bingo hall, or the track. Such"testing"can be dangerous, especially if I am egged on, not only by a craving for the old object of my addictions, but by others still caught in addiction whose moral responsibility has been reduced tozero.TODAY I WILL REMEMBERAvoid slippery places.April 2What causes slips? What happens to a person who apparently seems tounderstand and live the Twelve Step way, yet decides to go out gambling again? What can I do to keep this from happening to me? Is there any consistency among those who slip, any common denominators that seem to apply? We can each draw our own conclusions, but we learn in the Gamblers Anonymous Program that certain inactions will all but guarantee an eventual slip.When a person who has slipped is fortunate enough to return to the Program, do I listen carefully to what he or she says about the slip?TODAY I PRAYMay my Higher Power show me if I am setting myself up to gamble again. May I glean from the experiences of others that the reasons for such a lapse of resolve or such an accident of will most often stem from what I have not done rather than from what I have done. May I"keep coming back"to meetings.TODAY I WILL REMEMBERKeep coming back.April 3 In almost every instance, the returned slipper says,"I stopped going to meetings,"or"I got fed up with the same old stories and the same old faces,"or"My outside commitments were such that I had to cut down on meetings,"or"I felt I'd received the optimum benefits from the meetings, so I sought further help from more meaningful activities."In short, they simply stopped going to meetings. A saying I've heard at Gambers Anonymous hits the nail on the head:"Them that stops going to meetings are not present at meetings to hear about what happens to them that stops going to meetings."Am I going to enough meetings for me?TODAY I PRAYGod keep me on the path of the GA Program. May I never be too tired, too busy, too complacent, too bored to go to meetings. Almost always those complaints are reversed at a meeting if I will just get myself there. My weariness dissapates in serenity. My busyness is reduced to it's rightful proportion. My complacency gives way to vigilance again. Any how can I be bored in a place where there is so much fellowship and joy?TODAY I WILL REMEMBERAttend the meetings.April 4Another common denominator among those who slip is failure to use the tools of the Gamblers Anonymous Program--the Twelve Steps. The comments heard most often are,"I never did work the Steps,""I never got past the First Step,""I worked the Steps too slow,"or"too fast"or"too soon". What it boils down to is that these people considered the Steps, but didn't conscientiously and sincerely apply the Steps to their lives.Am I learning how to protect myself and help others?TODAY I PRAYMay I be a doer of the Steps and not a hearer only. May I see some of the common mis-Steps that lead to a fall: being too proud to admit Step one; being to tied to everyday earth to feel the presence of a Higher Power; being over- whelmed by the thought of preparing Step Four, a complete moral and financial inventory; being to reticent to share that inventory. Please God, guide me as I work the Twelve Steps.TODAY I WILL REMEMBERTo watch my steps.April 5 Still another common thread we invariable see among slippers is that many of them felt dissatisfaction with today."I forgot we live one day at a time,"or"I begain to anticipate the future,"or"I began to plan results, not just plan."They seemed to forget that all we have is NOW. Life continued to get better for them and, as many of us do, they forgot how bad it had been. They began to think, instead, of how dissatisfying it was compared to what it could be.Do I compare today with yesterday, realizing, that by contrast, what great benefits and blessings I have today?TODAY I PRAYIf I am discourged with today, may I remember the sorrows and hassles of yesterday. If I am impatient for the future, let me appreciate today and how much better it is than the life I left behind. May I never forget the principle of"one day at a time."TODAY I WILL REMEMBERThe craziness of yesterday (Source: Getting Past Gambling)

You probably thought you couldn't do it. But somehow, you did. You faced it, admitted you have a problem and you're starting to look for help. You took some steps that started the healing process, and soon your life will be changing: Your relationships may get better, your conscience will be eased, and hopefully your life will seem more appealing. Best of all, you know you're doing the right thing. You'll need encouragement and frequent reminders to keep going on this new and less-than-clearly marked path. It's important to remember, though, that admitting you need help is the hardest part of overcoming an addiction or problem. The more you reveal and share with others, the more likely people will be to expect your life to change. On the one hand, that thought may fill you with the dread and burden of responsibility. After all, if you tell people, they'll expect you to change. Then, if (and when) you relapse, they'll be disappointed in you or even hate you — right? Wrong. The people who truly love you will stick with you as you fight this problem, supporting you both when you change and when you fail. They care about you and want you to succeed. They're probably proud of you — as you should be of yourself — for even having the desire to change. The proverbial"end of the tunnel"may be harder for you to see than for those around you to envision. The point: People are a vital part of the change you're undergoing. You need them. Without them, you will continue to live in your cramped, airless closet of addiction. Without them, your likelihood of failure increases. That's why you need someone to hold you accountable. So what does accountability look like? Evaluate your need for help. Depending on where you are in the recovery process from addiction, you may need more help than an accountability partner can give. Often, the best case scenario is the simultaneous help of a professional counselor and an accountability partner. A professional counselor has in-depth education and training and will only see you periodically; an accountability partner may not have background or experience in counseling but can be available and supportive during times of temptation, challenge and success. If you need the services of a professional counselor, TroubledWith.com offers a free, one-time phone consultation with a licensed Christian counselor, as well as referrals to counselors in your area. Begin by giving an accurate picture of where you are. In the beginning of an accountability partnership, it's critical that you paint an accurate picture for the person who's signed on to help. Unless you let your partner know the core of what's going on, they are powerless to accurately aid you in change. You've got to be on the same page. Don't beat around the bush. The first time you meet with the person who will be helping you, tell them where you are with your addiction and where you want to be. Define for them what role you expect them to play in the changes you hope to make. This first conversation will doubtless be hard, but only when you've trusted a person and put yourself on the line can they really begin to help. Choose a partner wisely. There are no specific requirements — it doesn't have to be a professional counselor. It could be your best friend or a co-worker. But it must be someone trustworthy, mature, willing and available. Caution: It's not usually a good idea to ask your spouse to be your accountability partner. They'll encourage you and notice changes along the way, but this experience will be difficult and it often helps to have a friend who's not as involved and immersed in your life as a spouse. Be totally honest. No hiding. No matter how embarrassing, you share. That, of course, implies that the person in relationship with you will be someone who respects you, knows you're struggling, is willing to help, and loves you. Allow your accountability partner to be honest. Now's the time for you to accept criticism and encouragement without holding back. As you choose a person to hold you accountable, pick someone that will be honest and give you an accurate opinion of the changes you've made and the hurdles you face. At this point, you're weak and need someone strong to hold you up. Meet regularly and face-to-face. Committing to a set time is best. That way, you'll know you have to report on your progress and struggles each and every week. If a set time isn't possible, try to interact with this partner at least once a week. Meeting face-to-face is also crucial. It's harder, but it's more personal and forces you to be more honest and open than by e-mail or phone. Answer hard questions. In the beginning, line up weekly questions. Don't be afraid to be specific. For example, if you're fighting pornography, you might have your accountability partner ask: Have you viewed pornography this week? How many times? What were you doing when you made the choice to view it? These are painful, even somewhat embarrassing, questions, but to overcome your addiction, you must be willing to confront pain and embarrassment. Change with their help. This shouldn't be purely a time of encouragement or purely a time of criticism. You set goals, and you reach them. Timelines don't matter as much as progressive change. Let your accountability partner be your support line, a shoulder to cry on, someone to turn to in weak moments and someone who will love you. I once heard about a college guy who asked his pastor for help with a drinking problem. The pastor began holding him accountable, and they met together weekly. During the first meeting, the pastor promised that within a year, this young student would be a different man. In the beginning, change was a week-by-week process. He managed to stop drinking, raise his GPA and even began to help others with their problems. However, not quite a year later, the young man pledged a fraternity and began drinking again. He stopped showing up for accountability meetings, leaving the pastor sitting alone at IHOP. When he didn't show, the pastor prayed. A few weeks later, the pastor answered his phone to hear weeping. Through tears, the young man asked his pastor to forgive him, achingly recalling that he hadn't made it a year without failure. When he asked,"Can we start over?"the pastor responded,"No, we can start exactly where we left off."What the wise pastor realized was that this relapse had been more of a lesson than any lecture or chastisement. Letting someone hold you accountable for change can be a painful process, but it's a process with opportunities to be loved, rewarded, and ultimately, to change. You've taken the first step. Have courage to keep changing and be confident — you're headed in the right direction. (Source: Getting Past Gambling)